This is the hardest time when I must pass it, bút no one knows me?

I don't want to do anything because of depression, and because I don't know how to deal with it.

And I have thinkings of my life, such as "so boring", "so terrible", "so lonely" and "so sad".

I really want to throw them from my mind, but it's not easy.

When someone advises me: "Don't worry, you can do it", or "thinking positive, not negative", then I feel comfortable but it takes few days.

When I want to go anywhere to escape from depression, I can do it, but, something is wrong with me.

When someone wants to keep silent, I think he or she wants to refuse me as a friend.

When I think life is not simple, I want to end it.

But when I think about my parents, I want to stop it.

When I want to go to a bridge and look at the river, I think everything will be okay with me.

When I want to see a doctor who can help me, I think I will escape trom depression with a good advise.

But what should I do?

Is it impossible?

I have depression for a long time, since I was a student, and maybe is six or seven years.

Who can help me when I want to share with someone or psychologists? Or I want to open my mind to get good things, but I think I can't continue my work.

I really want to end everything when I think I have mistakes, and I think other people hate me because they are better than me.

Sometimes, I want to my mind is empty, and I don't want to attend activities from my work, and now I don't want to help anyone for their work although I helped them before.

I know everything is not perfect.